Eleven years—that’s how long I had been battling a mental disorder that we all know as depression.
I guess you could call me a late bloomer since I only got the diagnosis when I felt a strong urge to take my life. But before that, I had already experienced some signs of depression, such as fatigue, hopelessness, etc.
Did my family know about it? Nope. No one had a clue about it for a long time. But I didn’t feel entirely alone, given that I had Kelly Clarkson songs to keep me company.
Below are six of her songs that helped me through the darkest parts of my life.
The first KC song that struck my heart was Dark Side. According to the singer, everyone got deep, dark secrets that could easily make anyone run away. Thus, she wanted to know if her loved ones could look past it or, better yet, accept all her flaws.
In my case, I had one secret: depression. I used to be scared of opening up about my mental health around anyone. However, when I heard the song, I found the courage to tell my parents that I had been battling depression for years. My effort was not lost since they showed a willingness to help me get better, no matter how long it would take.
In this hit single, Kelly was telling the story about a person in her life who often acted like a know-it-all. She obviously had a toxic relationship with the man, considering the singer also referred to this individual as Mr. Bring-Me-Down and Mr. Play-Your-Games. One could deduce that aside from acting like he knew everything, he was a player and a meanie.
The truth was that I had dealt with plenty of know-it-alls throughout my life, and they came in various genders. Their comments affected how I thought of myself back then, but that was before I heard Mr. Know-It-All. After that, I couldn’t care less about others’ opinions of how I should live my life.
Never Again came out in 2007 when I was a senior college student. The lyrics sounded so sassy, and I loved it. It was as if Kelly Clarkson went through a bad breakup and was practically over the drama in her love life.
The song Never Again helped me cope when I experienced getting cheated on by my first long-term boyfriend. I already caught him a few times, and when he was begging me for a 47th chance, I finally dared to say no. Then, I went on to do print ad commercials, and I was sure that he could see my face everywhere post-breakup. Ha-ha!
When I got a corporate job, I thought that it would be easier than modeling. However, I didn’t account for the conniving coworkers that I undoubtedly had and tried to make me quit.
In reality, after dealing with work bullying for several weeks, I almost handed in my resignation letter. But that’s when Kelly Clarkson’s song called Invincible dropped and helped me find my inner strength.
The line “’ Cause I can take on so much more than I had ever dreamed” was too powerful to ignore. If I’m honest, I would say that I secretly shed some tears when I listened to it for the first time since I could relate to the lyrics so much.
I Don’t Think About You
This song was among the hit singles from Kelly’s most recent album. It came out when I started having some depressive episodes after my boss gave the promotion I was working hard for to another employee. I felt betrayed like a lover and didn’t even want to see anyone from the office for days.
Nonetheless, I received an offer for a higher position from a rival company. They wanted to give me better benefits and salary, too. Of course, I accepted the new job, and I stopped moping about the other position that I should’ve gotten.
My all-time favorite Kelly Clarkson song was Sober. Many people said that the lyrics were perfect for those who were trying to maintain their sobriety and fight substance abuse. But I thought it also fit perfectly well for individuals who battled mental disorders like depression (like me).
The battle against such problems are never-ending — everyone knows that. My therapist told me just as much, too, when I went to her office for the first time. Despite that, I knew it would be okay once I managed to remove all the toxic people in my life and keep the best ones.
It’s safe to say that I would be listening to Kelly Clarkson’s songs even after she retires from the industry. Her music served as a balm to my aching soul; it would be crazy of me to forget her even when I no longer felt depressed.